The Life in the Family
This section is intended to give some highlights of
living in the family and among friends and
relations, but I shall start with a conversation
that I had in Japan which perhaps captures the state
of where I was in the past and where I am now in my
retired age.
As mentioned before, I was once staying at the University of
Kobe for some months, when the General Manager (GM) of a
major Japanese Regional Health Authority, about 100 miles
south of Kobe, came to invite me to visit his paper-less and
fully computerised health system, in which all patient
records, including X-rays and scans data (in digitised from)
were held in a network of fast computers, such that any
consultant in that region could access the relevant patient
records quickly, as and when necessary.
On the appointed day,
the GM himself came again, this time to take me personally
to his place in his big chauffeur-driven car, even though
this journey of 100 miles from Kobe would have taken less
than half the time by the Shinkansen (the Japanese Bullet
Train). I was sure that my Kobe host had exaggerated my
importance to him, such that he felt it would be demeaning
to my honour if he himself did not come to take me in his
car.
I was given a huge reception, and then they presented their
system, followed by some discussions, in which I made some
observations. Later in the evening I was chatting with his
Chief Executive who was a medical doctor himself, and spoke
reasonable English. He started speaking about his own
background and how he came to occupy the present position in
a very polite Japanese way.
I soon realised this was a prelude to the next part
of the conversation. He then said to me politely: you are
originally from Bangladesh (for me to confirm what he knew
already). So, I replied Yes.
He continued: You are so famous and we are so
honoured that you visited us. You come from Bangladesh and
yet you have reached the highest position in your profession
in the world. You have nothing more to achieve. So, may I
ask you how does it feel like to be in that highest
position? I did
not have to think much for my answer
– I
replied almost immediately: “I do not think like this. I do
not feel I am important. What I know is that I am in a
particular position, and when I look up, I see many many
people above me. I stretch my hand up to touch their feet,
but I cannot even reach them. So I try hard to reach their
feet. When I succeed, I become happy and then I look up
again, when I see even more people up, whose feet I cannot
reach even by my extended hand. So I start working hard
again to touch their feet. Thus I continue
– there
are always people whose feet are far above me”.
I was surprised myself by my answer, as I did not believe
that I was capable of giving a true answer so eloquently [at
least I thought my answer was eloquent].
I think this constant effort to move upward had been
true in my life in the past, but not any longer.
Now in my old age I do not try to reach higher
– I am
content with whatever I have.
A few years ago in 2010 I went to Dhaka and met my
old Professor Dr Innas Ali, who was then 95, and seriously
ill. Last time I met him was 1967.
To my pleasant surprise his daughter, an agricultural
research scientist, informed me that he remembered me well.
The daughter advised me not to stay more than 10 minutes
with him, as he was quite unwell. When I met him he was
lying in bed, his body covered with a good-quality bed
spread. I found him very alert in his mind, as he carried
out a normal conversation with me.
He spoke with me for about an hour. In the middle the
daughter came into the room and said “my father wants to
speak with you for longer, so please stay”. When I narrated
to him my conversation with that Japanese doctor, he was
very happy and commented: “You gave an excellent answer. You
make me so proud of you”. As he was from the same area of
Bangladesh as I am, his daughter wanted me to sit with her
afterwards for a longer chat, which I did.
Now returning to this section, I have embarked on writing
the following two books (tentative titles) for my family and
friends:
A Brief History of
Bengal for Diaspora Bangladeshis
– Ancient time
to 1971.
My Autobiography
–
A
Zigzag Journey from One World into Another.
The first book, ending in 1971 the year of Bangladesh
Independence, is meant to be a short treatise that can be
read quickly by busy people.
This book has been completed except for
proof-reading and converting it into Google format for
publishing it as a Google book, hopefully to be completed by
Autumn 2014.
My autobiography is not intended as something people will
read –
it is meant to be a family history for my family
members, particularly covering my childhood and my life in
Bangladesh. It has many Appendices, some on the life of my
ancestors in Jawar. I
shall probably place this autobiography as a Google book,
more for the convenience of preservation, rather than for
publicity. My progress in this book has been surprisingly
slow, but I hope to complete it by the end of this year
2014, after which I could embark on my other planned book on
Universal Values Under Islam [UVUI]. These books will be
held in archive described in the next section until the
Google versions are produced.
I describe below some experiences with friends and
family, before presenting some family pictures.
I know Dr George Hunter, my friend of forty years from his
PhD days. I have
changed his identity so that he cannot be recognised. Ever
since my first contact, I had many joint research projects
with him. Even these days when I cannot drive, he sometimes
comes to see me from Plymouth University just for a chat. He
is a devout Christian as are his wife and children. Their
greatest pleasure, he said to me once, is to go to the
Church on Saturday evenings to sing hymns together as a
family. Despite some
disabilities of many of his children this family had faced,
they are content and happy, always thanking God for His
blessings. This family is an inspiration to me, and I like
them very much, partly for their steadfast belief. His
family had a great antecedent, his father was a well-known
naval engineer and grandfather a ship designer. After his
father died some years ago, his mother was desolate in grief
and the life became intolerable for her. Then George wanted
to bring his mother to Keele to see me. I said: your mother
is my mother, it will be an honour for me to see her. So
they came afternoon, when I met George’s mother, a grand
gracious lady of love and care. I paid my respect to her as
I would pay to my own mother. I took them out for an evening
meal and they stayed in a hotel here.
George told me that her mother thought meeting me was
the best thing that had happened to her after the death of
her husband. She became gradually happier, according to
George. I met
her again in her house in Plymouth when we had a warm and
friendly conversation. She has now sadly passed away. Last
month (December 2013) George came to see me and again he
mentioned how I made her mother happy again. Honestly I do
not know what I had said or did to give her comfort. I do
not think I am even capable of giving anyone comforts. So
what was it that happened? I
can only think of God’s grace flowing through me and through
us all. I am humbled by this event and I am glad someone has
benefitted through me, in which I was just a means for
passing God’s grace.
Two years ago I went to see George at Plymouth. I saw in his
house a devout Christian man who came to take the family to
Church, as George had to go out with me. I saw in the face
and conduct of this man (the way he was he was conducting
himself and the way he was talking) what I would call God’s
grace flowing out. I told him so. After my return to Keele,
George telephoned me to say that that gentleman viewed me to
be a kind of holy man, full of God’s blessings
– a
Christian man talking about me, a Muslim! Again I took this
complement with humility, and I know I do not deserve it.
Although I had a number of similar experiences in which some
people seemed to feel good or even claimed to have been
benefitted personally I do not think very highly of myself,
as I am too aware of my limitations. And yes, somehow I was
a vehicle through which some people were helped. This is why
I say: Do good to all, with love and care and with humility
– things
may not be what they seem, that is, your prejudices may not
be true. I am trying to live up to it, but it’s not easy,
especially with family members, with whom one has constant
interactions, and yet it is most important. But on the other
hand I hope that despite transient disharmony, the love,
care and compassion will win through them at the end. While
most Muslims always talk about fear of God, I seek love of
God –
the essence of Sufism, my family tradition.
There was a time in my life when I wanted to achieve things.
Now I do not want so much to achieve, as to live in peace
and happiness, and progress together with others.
So I have changed. Remember as Tagore said:
Those
whom you leave behind will pull you behind
